The Brown Man’s Burden

Disclaimer: The views expressed here of America are as valid as the views America/the West expresses of the East. In other words, obviously, these views are invalid, but so is America/the West’s perspective on the East. This may be offensive if you take life too seriously. And yes, I’m sure I could easily have written about another “Western” country: I simply happen to be most familiar with America.

As a foreign traveller in America, I have learnt much about the ways and beliefs of the primitive inhabitants of this far away land. I have successfully ingratiated myself with these native Americans and learnt their exotic ways. I believe I have some interesting observations to make of the backward tribes that inhabit this mysterious and strange land. Their tribal rituals are strong, and their beliefs are deep. They have an abiding faith in the supernatural, and their ways are most quaint and peculiar.


The social organization of this land is composed of many fascinating tribes and subtribes. Broadly, the majority of these peoples belong to either the Republican or Democrat groupings. Serious ethnographers will take note that these groupings are composed of alliances between multiple subtribes, which often clash with each other. These clashes can flare into outright violence. A recent example of the gun violence that permeates this culture is the shooting of a high status, senior member of the Democrat grouping, Gabriel Giffords. Her killing was instigated by a high status, senior member of the opposing grouping, Sarah Palin. Specifically the tribewoman Sarah Palin belongs to the Tea Party subtribe found in Alaska, which is part of the broader Republican grouping. Sarah Palin published the map shown on the left. The map clearly locates enemy subtribe members in crosshairs. Gabriel Giffords was one of these, and she soon had an assassination attempt.

Sarah Palin’s map targeting Gabriel Giffords

This is a classic example of how high status tribe members accomplish their aims by manipulating the emotions of lower status members. It is also another example of constant gun violence, which Americans accept as a routine part of their lives. Even horrifying incidents such as massacres of schoolchildren have no effect on the collective Meerrikin conscience, provoking none of the healing and problem solving reactions one would expect from a civilized society. However I digress. I was on the subject of American tribes.

The prominent Republican subtribes are the evangelicals, the social conservatives, the fiscal conservatives, the libertarians, and conservative Christians. The geographical concentration of these tribes is in rural areas of the country. In particular, tribe members, can be spotted in the bucolic countryside that forms America’s spine so to speak, from North Dakota to Texas. These gentlefolk carry with them quaint tribal beliefs that have endured for generations in these isolated areas, cut-off from contact with any sort of human civilization. Contact with them is fleeting, and I could not discover much about their unique way of life, except that it has not changed for hundreds of years. I am told that religion, guns and beer are the chief pillars of life, but have been unable to verify these reports for myself due to the extreme remoteness of these areas. The Democrat propaganda paints the Republicans as a tribe of “angry white men”. I have empirical evidence of the existence of this tribal demographic on my travels to the nearly destroyed tribal settlement of Detroit. There, I overheard two “angry white men” talking, and I must admit that their conception of the world was quaint and cute in its innocent but sincere incomprehension of the world. The world was a confusing and complicated place for them, and they tried their best to fit it into the comforting frame of thought they were familiar with. I concluded that this subtribe needs the soothing balm of the East’s meditative and accepting approach to life. Contact and exposure to the civilizing effect of Eastern ways and wisdom would do them good.

The conservative psyche is as it says. They are conservative, they dislike change. Their attitude is a typical result of human cognitive bias, specifically status quo bias. My favourite example (favourite because it is ludicrous), is that conservatives believe the American constitution should never be changed. Unfortunately, this is only to be expected from a subtribe that cannot a grasp a simple concept like evolution, for it they did, then they would understand that the only constant is change. It must also be noted that Republicans pride themselves on believing in the free market. However, this is false. They believe in tribute. This can be seen when they banned the Tesla tribal conglomerate from Texas after car dealers paid them enough tribute.

The major subtribes in the Democrat grouping are the liberals, social progressives, socialists, hipsters, immigrants, LGBTs, environmentalists etcetera. These tribal members usually live close together in large, densely populated settlements near ocean water. That is, the Pacific and Atlantic coasts. Republican propaganda paints the Democrat tribe as needy, lazy people who want an easy life. Anecdotal evidence suggests that Democrat tribal members expect more support and aid from their government than Republicans. Their tribal narrative encourages them to distrust tribal conglomerates. Many Democrat subtribes go about their life with a peculiar cognitive dissonance, paying tribute to tribal conglomerates such as Starbucks and Apple, while simultaneously denouncing tribal conglomerates in general. They also harbour a strange longing for a more primitive time that I do not fully understanding, considering the already primitive state of their society. As a result, they prefer buying food made with primitive farming techniques, called “organic” food, to high yielding, genetically modified food used in advanced societies. They also prefer generating power through the antediluvian method of burning fossil fuels, as opposed to the very latest in power technology — nuclear power. This exposes a contradiction in their psyche, where they consider themselves “progressive” yet are anti-Science. However, Democrats are tilted towards social progressivism. Republicans say social progressivism leads to below replacement rate birthrates and gradual decline, but figuring out such a complex issue is probably beyond the grasp of these primitive tribes.

The Democrat grouping would indeed benefit from an exposure to historical Indian and Middle Eastern logic, mathematics and scientific thinking. Currently, this tribe values what is called “liberal arts”, an education which leaves them little in the way of a practical understanding of the world. “Liberal arts” educates younger tribe members in the ways of sex, money, drugs and alcohol. In particular, this is where younger tribe members learn the use of the intoxicant marijuana. (In fact, even the tribal prophet Obama used marijuana and cocaine when studying the liberal arts). Beyond these four areas, I have yet to observe the value of a liberal arts degree. It is vital that this backward tribe be quickly introduced to scientific logic and thinking for their own betterment.

Gods & Religions

The Gods that Americanss worship are –

  • God of Possession
  • God of the Self
  • God of Authenticity

God of Possession

Americans at Church during Christmas

Americans worship the God of Possession like no other. Americans believe the secret to happiness is the possession of objects. They believe in adorning themselves with shiny trinkets, as one would expect of a primitive tribe. They possess huge homes to store their possessions in, along with garages and storage to store even more possessions. Nothing is enough for a American. This why in America, storing things is an industry in itself. The greatest of all American festivals are those of Christmas and Thanksgiving. To celebrate these festivals, Americans visit megachurches known as “malls” to offer tribute to the God of Possession in the form of pieces of green paper. Americans access the God at the megachurch through shrines such as JC Penney, Macy’s, Urban Outfitter etcetera. In return, they receive possessions such as pieces of cloth, textiles, furniture, ornaments and so on. Americans then array these possessions about themselves to show their devotion to the God. Thus a Louis Vuitton possession brings about high status because it shows great devotion to the Possession God as it requires much tribute. These megachurches, such as Louis Vuitton, go to great lengths to keep their flock faithful and contented through periodic rituals such as ‘sales’ and ‘reductions’ which allow tribals to be part of the church while paying less tribute. They frequently circulate prayers called ‘advertisements’ to promote these rituals.

God of Self

The God of the Self is a very personal and dear God to most Americans. A little piece of this God is present in every American. As a result, Americans worship themselves as manifestations of this God. They constantly talk about themselves, call themselves “awesome”, and aim to increase their status. “Awesome” is the Americans’ favourite tribal symbol. I reckon it is the most frequently used adjective in America. As it stands, Americans will only do something if they can talk about it in a way that makes them special and unique. Thus, anything they do must confer social status. Accumulating social status consists of seeing who can tell the most anecdotes about oneself in a conversation. The one who has the most in the final tally has the most status. For example, Americans have a ritual called Halloween. They pretend to be people they are not for this ritual. Then, for the rest of their lives, then talk about they people they pretended to be. Often I have heard a tribal remark, “In the Halloween of 2005, I went as the character from (insert popular tribal drama)”. All other Americans within earshot must now tell this tribal how “awesome” his/her costume was. “That’s awesome”, they solemnly intone, each invoking the God of Self that resides within them. There are many words Americans use to invoke the Self God. Some of these are awesome, dank, dope, clutch, tight, classy, cash, ridiculous, disgustingly ridiculous, and mad. Every American inevitably is given to understand that his or her life is awesome/clutch/tight by the choir of his or her fellow Americans.

There are many rituals Americans perform to honour the Self God. Many of these are tied up with impressing potential mates, since Americans hold the Self God in high regard. These rituals typically come across as Neanderthal and primordial. I will try to leave out the insufferable details. Suffice to say, Americans will drink as much alcohol as possible, and will obtain illicit drugs, besides paying tribute to go to musical rituals that confer social status such as Coachella or make tribal pilgrimages to places that confer social status such as Las Vegas. The aim of these activities is then to repeat the details of said ritual in gory detail to crowds of approving fellow Americans, and (hopefully) potential mates. Thus, the Self God is an immensely powerful God in the quotidian American life.

Hipsters in traditional attire

The God of Authenticity

This tribal God is worshipped more by the Democrat grouping, primarily the hipster subtribe. This God is a sister God of the Self God. The God of Authenticity is worshipped by Americans who desperately aim to make their lives more than they are. For example, a American will pay high tribute to go eat primitively grown (organic) food, and then talk about his or her affinity for that food (making organic food a Veblen good). This gives the American an air of authenticity as the American has gone out of the way to enjoy a subpar product. Similarly Americans will aim to give their lives an aura of danger by ingesting too much of an intoxicant such as alcohol in an effort to make their depressingly easy lives authentically interesting. The hipster subtribe excels at such behaviour, often using decades old symbolism (called vintage) to differentiate themselves and confer social status upon themselves. The tribal symbols of a hipster include cloth materials that are called Birkenstocks, plaid, Argyle and so on. You can see the hipster tribals in their traditional attire in the picture. It must be mentioned that the hipster subtribe is closely affiliated with the Urban Outfitters megachurch. This is a good segue in our next topic, tribal symbolism.

Tribal Symbolism and Status

America is rich in fascinating tribal symbolism. The tribes of this land have created specialized symbolism for themselves to convey their social status and rank to other tribe members. To fully explore this tribal symbolism, let us explore the tribal symbolism found in New England.

New England Symbolism

The peoples of New England have developed their indigenous culture and symbolism over the centuries. They put on fascinating displays of status. New England has developed traditions of demonstrating status that control an individual’s actions over their entire life, thus pushing individuals to demonstrate status at every stage of life.

The Roots of Status

To understand status in New England, it is vital to understand where these peoples came from. The tribes of New England are primarily descended from White Anglo-Saxon Protestant tribal stock of Britain. In Britain, these tribes had a well documented, rock solid, set-in-stone caste system. Such information can be quickly gleaned here. Essentially, in order of descending social status we have –

  • Royal
  • Nobel/Archbishop
  • Baronet
  • Knight
  • Gentry
  • Yeoman
  • Husbandsman
  • Labourer

These castes were strictly enforced through private ownership of swathes of productive land, owning the labour of those of lower social rank, specific attire, valuable art, specific accents and vocabulary, association only with others of similar rank, access to private clubs, wealth, hereditary inheritance of titles, enshrinement of political power through the House of Lords and in a million other ways. This resulted in a highly unequal society where the fates and fortunes of the majority were controlled by the whims and fancies of a few. The aim of such a complex and detailed caste system was to convey the precise social rank and status one possessed in a glance. This rigid caste system exemplified the primitive, status obsessed tribes that the New Englanders came from. An example of status assertion is the coat of arms. To quote from Wikipedia’s College of Arms, “The granting of coat of arms within the United Kingdom is the sole prerogative of the British monarch. However, she has delegated this power to two authorities; the Lord Lyon, with jurisdiction over Scotland and the College of Arms over England, Wales and Northern Ireland. Under the latter’s jurisdiction, the right to arms is acquired exclusively either by proving descent in an unbroken male-line from someone registered as so entitled or by a new grant from the King of Arms.” What else exemplifies the backwardness of these tribes as this garish display of status, this inherited heraldic coat of arms. Why, flashing your coat of arms for all to see, a coat of arms by virtue of ancestry and not merit, is scarcely any better than a gorilla beating his chest to assert dominance over lesser status gorillas.

We must also make mention of inherited hereditary power. For centuries, nobility simply inherited power by virtue of birth to the House of Lords, which conferred automatic political power on them. A simple fact that goes against the very tenets of a democracy.

We shan’t tarry here any longer save to note the backwardness of such a rigid, socially stratified, caste system. Additional information here.

The Need for Moral High Ground

In my opinion, the defining characteristic of tribes of the West is their overarching need for a moral argument. From the righteousness of Christ, to the Crusades, to the moral imperative of “Manifest Destiny” to the “White Man’s Burden”, these tribes have frequently placed themselves at the moral apex of this world. In their blinkered worldview, they are unique in their privileged understanding of the world. Their history and faith endows them with moral righteousness. They believe they have the right to rule over other peoples, even more civilized peoples, simply by their occupancy of moral high ground. Even to this day, America claims moral high ground by frequently characterizing other peoples as “evil” when itself overthrowing foreign, often democratically elected governments, at whim.

When a keen observer looks at the sweep of history, it is trivial to see this desperate need for moral high ground bleeding through the collective psyche of the West, in their urgency to justify their excesses and barbarian-istic subjugations of other civilizations. The West has much to learn from Eastern philosophy, specifically the general philosophical approach of “live and let live”.

Specifically in Great Britain, the effects of seeking moral high ground can be seen in the religious wars fought there.

Status in New England

New England tribals in traditional attire and status signifiers

We may finally return to our case study, status in New England tribes. A direct line can be shown between primitive displays of status in England and in New England. One may object that here is no nobility, that there is no inherited political power, no heraldry in New England. That is to miss the point. These things take different forms in different tribes. In New England, the social constructs of nobility and social status have moulded themselves to the political construct of democracy. One simply has to pass through the rich suburbs of Weston and Wellesley outside the settlement of Boston to see these tribes play their fascinating and primeval games of status. The high status tribe members subvert democracy by flooding a certain region, such as Wellesley. Once they control the territory in the region by paying sufficient tribute, they are the overwhelming majority. They then use democracy to create an independent polity for themselves, grandiosely called a “town”. This town allows them to control the area of territory completely, as if they were feudal landholders in the Middle Ages. It allows them to use the instruments of zoning, taxes, land and territory to control the movement of individuals into their feudal holding. Thus, rich, high-status tribe members assert their status by controlling land through a supposedly political process, turning the social structure into a land-based social status hierarchy.

The New England tribes have also developed lifelong rituals that enable them to assert status. These begin from a young age. The young are sent to spend time in special tribal gatherings with other young called “prep schools”. The prep schools that maximize status are Andover, Exeter, Hotchkiss, St. Paul’s and other members of the tribal status grouping called the “Ten Schools Organization”. Often these gatherings assert their tribal status through strict dress codes. Besides social status, this tribal symbols are used in mating rituals to attract members of the opposite sex. From here, “They (girls) can tell just by looking at him whether a boy goes to an Eastern prep school or not. Not only that, they can tell which prep school, usually St. Paul’s or Hotchkiss or Groton or Exeter or Andover, or whatever; just by checking his hair and his clothes.” For tribes of New England, it is vital that the males attend these tribal “prep school” greetings in a display of social status so that they may attract mates.

These prep schools prepare males for their next stage of life, attending a tribal grouping called an “Ivy League”. This is because a male must display appropriate status throughout his life, not just at puberty but beyond. Attending an Ivy League such as Yale or Harvard enables the male to continue attracting males and gain additional status. These “Ivy League” groupings invest considerable sums of money to maintain their status. Yale in particular engaged in a rather endearing practice of aiming to alter its buildings to look older than they actually are. It used absurdly primitive techniques such as acid stains on buildings, breaking glass windows and antediluvian architecture to give itself an air of gravitas that it lacked. Such attempts at desperately seeking status depict the simple yet preoccupied lives of these natives. After graduating from an Ivy League, the male will then enter a high status occupation such as a lawyer, a consultant or an investment banker. These high status occupations are designed to accumulate tribute. Using the tribute, the male can then acquire territory in the high status locales previously described, and thus complete the cycle previously described of controlling the polity known as a “town”.

Today, the natives continue to assert status by controlling territory such as Nantucket, Martha’s Vineyard and other areas of the country, building large, ornate mansions to assert status. Typical examples are “The Breakers”.

Maintenance of Status in face of Immigration

A recent shift in displays of status that is of interest to ethnographers, is the effect of recent immigration from Asia, Central and Latin America to USA. Some of these immigrants have been able to achieve higher status, primarily by gaining difficult, time consuming technological education that high status American tribes eschew. This eschewal is similar to the Middle Ages eschewal of manual labour by high status nobility. The key difference being that current technological education opens doors to a large amount of tribute, thus allowing the gain of status. The tribals have aimed to maintain status by pursuing occupations that offer even more social status than tribute can, typically mass media, pop culture and political occupations. In addition to the traditional displays of status thus described, these new measures allow retention of status. Status is also maintained through the primal but effective method of investing in one’s aesthetic appearance through physical fitness and by adorning themselves with pieces of textiles that convey status.

Another technique used to maintain status, is to reduce the status associated with high technology occupations. This is done by constant association of technology occupations with undesirable social characteristics such as social awkwardness, lack of friends, ‘nerdiness’ and ‘geekiness’. In fact, I have frequently heard Americans proudly proclaim that they “cannot do numbers” and take great pride in their stupidity. What this really means is that the American has very high social status and thus does not need to perform the “labour” of learning difficult subjects such as math and physics. And this discussion brings us to the question of the role of science and technology in America.

Science & Technology in America

For such primitive social structure, America has developed remarkably advanced science and technology. What is more remarkable however, is that most Americans simply do not realize how science has greatly improved their standard of living. The fact that their lives have been greatly simplified by complex and advanced technology does not cross their minds, even though it is blindingly obvious.

This gross undervaluation of science and technology can only be expected in primitive tribes. Unfortunately, it leads to a low social status and low tribute for scientists, and reduces the progress these tribes make. The average tribal cannot understand simple concepts. For example, they still use charmingly archaic measures such as feet and inches instead of metric measures. Clearly, they have much to learn from Eastern logic and thinking.

It must be mentioned that while the Democrat tribal grouping is not without fault, the Republican tribal grouping specifically holds their folk and tribal beliefs to be superior to even the most rigourous and accurate scientific theories. This let’s us segue into tribal beliefs.

Tribal Beliefs

As just noted, the folk beliefs of these tribal promote a deep faith in the supernatural, and their associated beliefs. The list of beliefs is long and boring. A few are anti-abortion, anti-homosexuality, anti-contraception.

Other tribal beliefs include an abiding belief that the free market is the balm to all the world’s problems and that Americans are truly free, or that somehow Americans are freed by living in America. When ofcourse the only thing that makes a American free is the amount of tribute he/she receives.


Having ingratiated myself into American society, and having learnt their ways, it is my conclusion that Americans have been deeply affected by their lack of a true tribal culture. Unfortunately for these peoples, the Gods of Possession and Self do not constitute culture. These leaves a vast hole in their psyche which they try to fill with alcohol, tribute and sex besides other distractions. Indeed Americans are exceedingly good at inventing weapons of mass distraction, such as the television, cinemas, being stuck in traffic, eating too much food and so on.

The television deserves a paragraph to itself. It is a box that can reduce any American to a vegetable incapable of any form of thought for hours on end. Effectively a zombie. I have tried this form of distraction, but I’m unable to bear it for more than a few minutes. I admit I am baffled by how this device works on the American brain, despite paying considerable attention to the process. However, the reduction of a thinking American tribal to a unthinking vegetable is both fascinating and mysterious and is deserving of further study.

Americans frequently abuse the stimulant and psychoactive known as caffeine. Many are so addicted that the first thing they do in the morning is reach for a cup of caffeine with trembling hands. Indeed feeding this perverted psychoactive addiction produces much tribute for tribal conglomerates such as Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts. Americans have in typical fashion connected this psychoactive use to the Self God, by continuously talking about how much they abuse the stimulant and how unique that makes them.

The Authenticity God must be mentioned here again. Americans attempt to fill the hole in their psyche by aiming to make themselves unique. Instead of drinking tea, they will drink “chai tea” when it is the same thing.

Another intoxicant that Americans frequently abuse is alchohol. Alcohol is frequently abused by younger tribals in a desperate attempt to make sense of their world, and to escape the awful social awkwardness that constantly accompanies them. It is their escape from their tortured existence where they are unable to act out their desires due to rigid social norms. Imbibing alcohol gives them an excuse to behave the way they would ideally like to behave all the time. That is to say, they regress from their quotidian primitive behavior to (astonishingly) even more primitive behavior. Tribals often justify their behavior using tribal war cries such as shouting “YOLO”.

In general, American social interaction is characterized by a high degree of social awkwardness where behaviors are carried out for the “sake” of them. For example, Americans insist on holding doors open for each other for pretense of politeness. From my observations, this act of holding doors open is extremely socially awkward. It is described here and here.

This social awkwardness is a result of reduced social empathy, strictured social relations, lack of cohesion and general self-obsessiveness of these tribals, which results in this breakdown of social trust and group cohesion, partly detailed here and here. These tribals tend to live solitary lives in their spread out suburbs, and lack higher level decision making faculties required to develop cooperative behavior. These can be seen in a lack of real urban areas or public transit normally seen in developed countries, plus a high degree of inequality and entrenched power structures based on paying tribute. The lack of social empathy generates compensating mechanisms, the greatest of which is the use of pets to provide “always on love”. Thus, tribals try desperately to gain the unconditional love and support they refuse to offer each other. The practice of emotional compensation through pets appears acuter in female tribals. This practice is symptomatic of a greater shying away from emotional risk towards constant positive feedback and appraisals of how awesome one is, as previously mentioned. The pattern is set in childhood when parents treat children as the center of the universe, and teach them that they are special and wonderful. Resultingly, Americans expect to succeed on the first try, or tell themselves they “cannot do it”. It is no surprise Americans have wholeheartedly abandoned actual fields of study in favour of liberal arts.

Social Organization

While much of the social organization has been described in the previous sections, there are some structural observations that are of interest.

The first is that both tribal groupings, the Democrats and Republicans, have a prophet called the “President”. All tribals leave their wishes and wants at the feet of this prophet. All their maladies and troubles are blamed on the prophet and all successes are attributed to this prophet. The Holy Book of these tribals is the Constitution. This Prophet and Holy Book form the two focal points of the power distribution among the tribals.

An awful phenomenon that afflicts America is that large swathes of American settlements are in complete decay. As I understand, it is necessary to maintain these decayed areas (maintain decay hah!) so that the inhabitants of the nicer areas gain status relative to the decayed areas. Such decayed and disintegrating portions of these settlements allow high status tribals to maintain status. The decayed areas are called “blighted”, “ghettos”, “inner cities” etc.

Suburbs are settlements that destroy vast areas of land

In contrast to the “ghettos”, high status tribals live in “suburbs”. “Suburbs” are low density, dispersed settlements specifically designed to destroy the environment by taking up as much land and resources as possible. Ingeniously, spreading out across as much land as possible means the infrastructure needed to support them increases by orders of magnitude, destroying the environment even more. Most ingenious. Ofcourse, the silly tribals have fooled themselves into thinking suburbs are better than cities for the environment. These suburbs are soul-less, boring cookie cutter areas where all dwellings look the same. Tribals live far from each other, do not socially interact, and spend the day dulling their minds with television, coffee and alcohol. When they need additional diversion, they go to the megachurches called malls where they pay tribute to the Possession God. Thus, they bring back possessions to their dwellings to fill their dwellings with and feel better about themselves.

Tribals also aim to form high status, exclusive clubs and organizations suchs as “TED talks” where membership requires large amounts of tribute.

Mating behaviour

As can be expected, mating behavior is dominated by displays of status symbols. For males, some of these symbols have been described, such as access to the privileged tribal gatherings of “prep schools” and “Ivy Leagues”. Additional status indicators are possessions that require high tribute such as cars (an outmoded form of transportation), high value textiles, large desirable dwellings and so on. Males also aim to put on shows of physical dominance by gaining muscle mass. An ability to achieve an aesthetically pleasing appearance also demonstrates to females that they have the leisure time to indulge in such activities. That is, their life is one of luxury.

Beauty standards – Left: Ideal (Impossible) Right: Average

The females indulge in mating displays by conforming to an impossible standard of beauty as far as possible. Their aim is to attract as much male attention as possible, such that the males spend all their tribute in pursuit of them. Naturally, since females are pursuing an impossible standard, this causes a large amount of social and body anxiety and interferes with their ability to simply enjoy life, as they constantly compare themselves to the ideal.

From my observations, many females simply wish to maximize their enjoyment and pleasure. They like being entertained by males. This often leads to ridiculous and dangerous behavior by the males to capture female attention, such as ingesting too much alcohol and illicit drugs, and generally indulging in self-aggrandizing behaviour designed to display social dominance.

Thus, males appeal to the Possession God and the Self God to attract the females who aim to conform to an impossible standard of physical appearance to attract males.

Often a male and female will fall under the illusion that their mating is proceeding well. Then they aim to seek their society’s approval by getting ‘married’. By getting married, they are able to unlock the process known as a divorce. The majority of those married go through a divorce. I have been unable to discern the cause of this marriage-divorce process. Some male-female couples however, do not opt for the state of divorce, but instead stay suspended in the stage of ‘marriage’, never advancing to the next stage.

Views of Civilized Peoples

Curiously, the primitive Americans view themselves as more advanced than the advanced civilizations of the East. While the East has had a long tradition of scientific thought, logic, mathematics, philosophy, culture, technology, art, literature and other aspects of civilizational existence, the primitives implicitly think of the East as ‘exotic’ and ‘primitive’. The logic for this escapes me. Perhaps there is none. Their mistaken views of the East can be seen in their pop culture. For example “Slumdog Millionaire”, “Deepak Chopra” and “Osho”. These depictions reassure Americans that their lives are superior. They help Americans feel better about their primitive lives and backward social structure by casting others as even more primitive. By constantly thinking of how others are more primitive than they are, Americans convince themselves that their lives are worth living and that they are doing things right.

Unfortunately it doesn’t stop here. Not only do Americans feel better, but their views feed their moral righteousness. They feel compelled to interfere, because they believe they know better, every single one of them. To illustrate, for a few days of 2012, every American was agog about “Kony 2012”, a video that told them how terrible life was in a country they had never heard of, let alone could find on a map. Americans went into a great frenzy, never mind their total lack of understanding of Kony/Uganda/Africa, and decided that something must be done. Millions of tribals shared the video with friends, and felt better about their sense of moral high ground, and their supposedly better life. After getting their emotional fix, Americans collectively forgot about the video, and have no recollection of it now.


Herein I have tried to paint a true picture of American existence as it stands today. As an outsider I hope I am forgiven for any errors I have made in my depiction. I trust my readers understand that this comes from a sincere effort to understand this fascinating, ancient tribal culture. These writings are taken purely from my observations of America, and have not been influenced by other sources. Thus, I have aimed to describe Americans as they would appear to a traveler from the East who has had no prior knowledge of them. I hope you have enjoyed this and found it informative. It is of necessity the Brown Man’s burden to provide these primitive tribes with Eastern guidance, knowledge and wisdom as quickly as possible to raise them unto civilization for their own sake and betterment.

I repeat the Disclaimer. Disclaimer: The views expressed here of America are as valid as the views America/the West expresses of the East. In other words, obviously, these views are invalid, but so is America/the West’s perspective on the East. This may be offensive if you take life too seriously. And yes, I’m sure I could easily have written about another “Western” country: I simply happen to be most familiar with America.

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