Post Gender-Normative Guy Faints While Asking Out Cute Feminist Girl

“One minute I was figuring out what to say and the next moment I wake up in hospital. I was at the local bar and wanted ask out this cute, feminist girl I sort of know. But I wasn’t sure if by asking her out I was only fulfilling my gender normative roles? Was I was simply exercising my male privilege by approaching her and was I forcing her to act in a gender-normative manner? Should she be asking me out? I figured I’d ask her if I could buy her a drink but then perhaps I’d be insinuating that she wasn’t capable of buying her own drink? That would be playing right into the hands of the patriarchy. Perhaps I should also specify that I don’t mean to be patriarchal? Would that long declaration to a complete stranger itself be an exercise of my privilege? Maybe I shouldn’t buy her a drink so I don’t use money to reinforce the power hierarchy? What if I just tell her I think she’s cute? She’d appreciate that, right? But then wouldn’t I just be objectifying her and playing into the hands of patriarchy again?? What if I just sat next to her at the bar and saw if she said hi? But then, would that be creepy because I was passive-aggressively encroaching on her personal space? How do I even know that she wants to be approached? Just because she’s at a bar doesn’t mean she wants her personal space invaded by a total stranger, right? Doesn’t the very fact that I am even contemplating violating her personal space embody patriarchy? Should I sit two bar stools away? Maybe three? At what bar-stool length am I not creepy? But if I sit too far away maybe she’ll think I’m not interested? What if I sit three bar stools away and start a conversation? But that would just be weird, right? Would she even be able to hear me from three bar stools away? Maybe I should ask her what her bar-stool comfort zone is? But then maybe she’ll think I have no game? What if I forget the bar stools and just kind of approach her? That would be even creepier though I guess?

Then, suddenly, I realized that I hadn’t even asked her what her preferred pronoun was! I didn’t even know if she self-identified as a woman. At that point, I was just so mentally exhausted and completely confused. I just couldn’t handle it anymore and everything went black. The next thing I knew I was in hospital.”

UPDATE: We just received news that a “female gender exclusion” zone has been setup around him to prevent triggers from the presence of women. We will keep you updated as the situation develops.

2 thoughts on “Post Gender-Normative Guy Faints While Asking Out Cute Feminist Girl

Leave a Reply to Angad Cancel reply